to it entirely; and determined not only to follow his counsel for the

future, but even as regards the past, to rectify his losses. For in this

juncture of affairs I called to mind that I was not without a possible

resource, and resolved, at whatever cost of mortification, to beard the

Loudon family in their historic city.

In the excellent Scots' phrase, I made a moonlight flitting, a thing

never dignified, but in my case unusually easy. As I had scarce a pair

of boots worth portage, I deserted the whole of my effects without

a pang. Dijon fell heir to Joan of Arc, the Standard Bearer, and the

Musketeers. He was present when I bought and frugally stocked my new

portmanteau; and it was at the door of the trunk shop that I took my

leave of him, for my last few hours in Paris must be spent alone. It

was alone (and at a far higher figure than my finances warranted) that

I discussed my dinner; alone that I took my ticket at Saint Lazare;

all alone, though in a carriage full of people, that I watched the

moon shine on the Seine flood with its tufted islets, on Rouen with her

spires, and on the shipping in the harbour of Dieppe. When the first

light of the morning called me from troubled slumbers on the deck, I

beheld the dawn at first with pleasure; I watched with pleasure the

green shores of England rising out of rosy haze; I took the salt air

with delight into my nostrils; and then all came back to me; that I was

no longer an artist, no longer myself; that I was leaving all I cared

for, and returning to all that I detested, the slave of debt and

gratitude, a public and a branded failure.

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